Stressed, Overwhelmed & One Glass of Wine Away.

There are days when life feels manageable. And then there are the days when everything seems to arrive at once. Work. Deadlines. Family. Money. Relationships. The endless messages. The thing you forgot to do. The thing somebody else didn't do. Your phone won't stop buzzing and suddenly even the smallest inconvenience feels like it might tip you over the edge.

I've been thinking a lot lately about self-regulation, particularly what we do when our stress levels are high. Because knowing you're stressed and knowing how to bring yourself back down are two very different things.

For years, I probably thought managing stress meant getting through it. Keep going. Sort the problem. Work harder. Pour a glass of wine at the end of the day. Wake up tomorrow and start again. And, to be fair, sometimes the wine helps.

The first part for me has been recognising when I'm becoming dysregulated. It's that feeling when your shoulders are up around your ears. You're breathing more shallowly. You're irritated by things that normally wouldn't bother you. You're jumping between tasks but achieving very little. You're checking your phone constantly or replaying a conversation in your head for the 47th time.

That's usually my signal: something needs to change before I try to solve anything else.

And I've discovered that trying to think my way out of stress doesn't always work. Sometimes I need to start with my body.

I was initially sceptical about tapping, Emotional Freedom Techniques or EFT, because, frankly, tapping points on my face while telling myself I'm stressed sounded slightly ridiculous.

But that's rather the point. It forces you to stop.

The basic practice involves gently tapping a sequence of points on the face and upper body while acknowledging what you're feeling. Research into EFT is still developing, but I find the physical repetition and focused attention useful for interrupting the mental spiral.

Sometimes I don't need to solve the problem immediately. I just need to get out of fight-or-flight mode long enough to see it differently. Breathe. Properly. We breathe all day, obviously. But there's a difference between breathing and using your breath deliberately. When I'm stressed, slowing my breathing down is probably the quickest tool I have. In through the nose. Slow exhale. Again.

Making the exhale slightly longer than the inhale can help encourage the body's relaxation response. A few minutes can be enough to create a little space between what is happening and how I respond to it. And that space matters.

This one works for me again and again. Put the phone away. Get outside. Walk.

No podcast. No conference call disguised as a walk. No replying to emails while marching around the block. Just walk.

Fresh air, movement and a change of environment can completely alter how a problem feels. Some of my best decisions have happened after I've stopped trying so hard to make a decision. There is something wonderfully grounding about simply putting one foot in front of the other.

And then there's wine...

A lovely glass of wine can absolutely be part of an enjoyable evening. But I've also learned to recognise the difference between having a glass of wine because I want one and reaching for one because I need to change how I feel. That's an important distinction.

Alcohol might temporarily take the edge off stress, but it can interfere with sleep and leave us feeling more anxious or flat the following day. So these days I'm trying to make it the accompaniment to a good evening rather than my primary stress-management strategy.

Am I always successful? Absolutely not. Self-regulation isn't about becoming some permanently calm, green-tea-drinking version of yourself who meditates serenely through every crisis. It's about building a toolkit.

Tap.

Breathe.

Walk.

Put the phone down.

Take ten minutes.

Talk to someone.

And sometimes, when the nervous system has settled and the day is done, pour the glass of wine because you genuinely fancy it.

The goal isn't to eliminate stress. Life isn't going to cooperate with that plan. It's learning to recognise when stress is taking control and knowing how to bring yourself back.

She said: I can't always control what's happening around me. But I'm getting much better at controlling how I respond to it.