The Lost Art of Showing Up: How Comfort Killed Connection

We are living through what many have begun calling the loneliness epidemic. Across Ireland and the UK, rates of reported loneliness and mental ill-health are climbing at unprecedented levels. Despite being more digitally connected than ever before, people are feeling increasingly isolated, from their communities, their workplaces, and even themselves. The world may have reopened after lockdowns, but for many, the sense of disconnection has never felt deeper.

Work, once a cornerstone of social life, has changed dramatically. Hybrid and remote models have given us freedom, but at a cost. Fewer people chat over coffee, share a laugh by the printer, or collaborate in person. The hum of the office, once an unspoken bond of belonging, has been replaced by muted microphones and lonely lunch breaks at kitchen tables.

This shift is taking a toll. Studies from the UK’s Office for National Statistics show that full-time remote workers are more likely to experience loneliness than those working on-site. In Ireland, research by Mental Health Ireland highlights the same pattern: social isolation, decreased motivation, and a growing sense of purposelessness.

The rise in mental health issues among young people, especially Gen Z, can’t be ignored. While it’s vital to acknowledge the pressures they face, economic uncertainty, online comparison culture, and climate anxiety, there’s also a growing concern that we’ve begun wrapping younger generations in cotton wool. In our rush to protect, we’ve sometimes forgotten to equip them with the resilience and real-world coping skills that come from challenge, responsibility, and genuine human connection.

Modern life has become comfortable - too comfortable. We can have groceries delivered within hours, meet friends virtually, and avoid most forms of inconvenience. Yet, this convenience has come at the expense of character-building discomfort. The struggles that once shaped emotional resilience, learning to work through boredom, frustration, or rejection are now often seen as intolerable.

As a result, we’re seeing workplaces struggle with engagement, young professionals burnt out before they’ve begun, and communities losing their sense of shared effort. We can’t build meaningful relationships or strong work ethics through screens alone. Connection, purpose, and fulfilment come from doing things together - from shared goals, hard work, and showing up even when it’s difficult.

So, where do we go from here? The antidote to loneliness isn’t more self-care or digital detoxes (though they help). It’s each other. We need to start rebuilding the human networks that sustained us for generations.

• Creating spaces for connection: local meet-ups, community groups, book clubs, sports, and volunteering. Real-life interaction should be treated as essential to wellbeing, not an optional extra.

• Encouraging workplace belonging: employers must invest in cultures that value collaboration and conversation, not just productivity metrics. Regular in-person days, mentoring, and team-building should be the norm again.

• Teaching resilience early: schools and parents should encourage young people to face challenges rather than avoid them. Confidence comes from competence, and competence is built through effort, failure, and persistence.

• Leading by example: every generation has a role in strengthening the social fabric. Instead of criticising Gen Z, we should mentor them, involve them, and show that life’s richness lies in participation, not perfection.

We can’t swipe our way out of loneliness. Rebuilding connection means choosing to engage, even when it’s awkward, time-consuming, or tiring. It’s about having the hard conversations, turning up for others, and reminding ourselves that human contact isn’t a luxury; it’s a lifeline.

If we want stronger communities and healthier minds, we need to return to the basics: purpose, participation, and perseverance. The cotton wool has to come off. It’s time to rediscover the strength that comes from belonging, the pride that comes from hard work, and the joy that comes from being part of something bigger than ourselves.