How to deal with a micromanaging pain-in-the-ass boss!

We’ve all worked for that boss or manager.

The one who sends a follow-up email two hours after assigning a task. The one who reviews a everything you’ve done perfectly, only to “tweak the formatting” and call it feedback. The one who can’t seem to trust anyone but themselves, despite hiring you to… well, do your job.

Whether they’re male or female, whether they sit in an office in Dublin, Belfast or London, a micromanaging boss is one of the most frustrating professional dynamics you’ll ever deal with.

And let’s be honest: it doesn’t just impact your workflow. It chips away at your confidence. You start second-guessing yourself. You feel anxious opening emails. You begin to wonder, “Am I actually bad at this?” Spoiler alert: you’re not.

Micromanagement is rarely about your competence. It’s almost always about their control.

So here’s how to manage them, while protecting your sanity and self-worth:

Understand the psychology behind it: Micromanagers often lead from fear. Fear of failure, fear of losing relevance, fear of things going wrong. Knowing this helps you see it for what it is, their insecurity, not your inadequacy. It gives you power back.

Pre-empt their need to hover: Send weekly updates before they ask. Outline your priorities, progress, and timelines. This shows initiative and reduces their impulse to “check in.” Set the rhythm of communication, you lead, they follow.

Ask, don’t accuse: Instead of saying, “You’re micromanaging me,” try: “Where would you like detailed oversight, and where can I take full ownership?” This reframes the conversation from complaint to collaboration, a move that micromanagers respect.

Keep records (and receipts): Save key emails, document feedback, and track tasks. Not out of paranoia, but as protection. If the micromanagement becomes a performance issue or HR concern, you’ll have clarity and evidence.

Set emotional boundaries: You’re not their therapist or emotional sponge. You don’t have to absorb the stress. Remind yourself: I can be excellent without being perfect. Their need for control is not your burden to carry.

Know when to walk away: Sometimes, no strategy can fix a deeply insecure or toxic leader. And if the micromanagement is crushing your spirit, affecting your mental health, or stopping your growth - it’s okay to leave. A job is just a job. Your wellbeing is everything.

At the She Said Club, we know workplace dynamics can deeply affect our identity, confidence, and peace of mind. Especially as women navigating leadership, motherhood, ambition, or simply trying to hold it all together.

So, if you’re dealing with a micromanaging boss right now, know this:

• You’re not the problem.

• You are capable, professional, and trustworthy.

• And you deserve a workplace that sees and values that.

Ever had to deal with a micromanager? Share your story with us at hello@shesaidclub.com it might just help another woman breathe a little easier today.