Coping with Back-to-School Loneliness as a Mum

When the Kids Go Back to School and You’re Left With… Silence

So, the school bags are packed, the lunchboxes are filled, and you’ve just watched your little darlings trot off through the school gates. You wave like you’re in a heartwarming advert for back-to-school stationery, but inside you’re thinking, “Well… now what?” Suddenly the house is quiet, too quiet. Too quiet. And that’s when it hits you: you’re lonely.

First things first, please know this, feeling a bit lost when the kids head back to school is completely normal. You’ve just spent weeks (or months, let’s be honest) refereeing arguments, providing 462 daily snacks, and wondering if they’ll ever tidy up a Lego piece in their lives. It’s been loud, messy, exhausting… and yet, now that it’s gone, the silence feels like a punch in the gut. That’s motherhood for you, missing the chaos the moment it leaves!

Acknowledge the weirdness. Don’t brush your feelings off with a cheery “I should be fine now I’ve got some peace.” The reality is you’ve been someone’s snack-maker, entertainer, chauffeur, and mediator all summer. Your brain is in overdrive from constant “Muuuum, MUMMY, MA, MUUUUUM!” calls. It’s no wonder that the sudden drop to silence feels uncomfortable.

Reclaim the quiet (without panicking about it). Instead of staring at the walls thinking, “Is this what empty nest syndrome feels like?” try reframing it. This isn’t a void. This is prime time. Remember all the things you said you’d do “once I have the time”? Congratulations, the time has arrived. Whether that’s reading a book without being interrupted, walking without carrying scooters, or drinking a hot coffee that’s actually hot, you get to enjoy the small wins.

Call in the Grown-Ups! Loneliness feeds on isolation, so plan in little touchpoints with actual adults. Coffee with a friend. A class you’ve always wanted to try. Even a phone chat that doesn’t involve discussing anyone’s homework or what’s for dinner. You don’t need to fill every hour, but sprinkling your week with connection makes a big difference.

Move Your Body (and your mood). Yes, this might sound like the kind of advice that makes you roll your eyes, but hear me out. Go for a walk. Get some fresh air. Stick in your headphones and listen to the podcast you can’t play when little ears are around. It’s amazing how much lighter you feel just by moving.

Let yourself laugh about it. Because really, motherhood is a constant paradox: we crave space, then panic when we get it. We dream of quiet, then miss the noise. We grumble about the chaos, then ache for it when it’s gone. So, if you find yourself wandering around the house picking up socks and muttering like you’ve lost your purpose, cut yourself some slack and maybe laugh at the absurdity of it all.

Your kids heading back to school isn’t the end of your summer; it’s the start of your season. You get to re-discover yourself in the spaces they leave behind. The loneliness is real, but so is the opportunity, to rest, reconnect, and even remember what it feels like to just be you. And when the school bell rings and they come charging back, backpacks askew and already demanding snacks, you’ll realise that a little bit of quiet, lonely or not, is actually a gift.

If you've a back to school story we would love to read all about it! Email us on hello@shesaidclub.com